cold hard and falling

here i am again

the slimy chain

attached to my crown

lowers me deeper 

deeper and deeper

i fear rock bottom

it always hurts 

the sharp edges of stone 

cutting into me 

as the current

and the wind

attempt to free me 

from my captor

i hear echoes, rumors

they call me a useful burden

i don’t like gossip

but at least 

down here i am acknowledged

i gaze longingly 

at the glistening shadows

schools pass by 

and i wonder what it is like

to not be alone

to belong

not to someone 

but to something

something bigger

i imagine having a body

that moves on its own

what would i do

with myself?

where would i go?

who would i be?

these questions turn to light

i feel it dance 

all around me

my crown starts to tighten

as my rusted frame 

is dragged up 

towards the light above

this is my favorite part

i ignore the pain 

pulsating from inside

the utter force 

my mass produces

when streaking through the water

is nauseating

i feel the ocean 

gracing my surface

with her touch 

i feel alive

i feel the closest

to answering my questions

than i ever have 

this time

i focus on the light 

not from above

but from my dreams 

its warmth envelopes me

the chain welded to my brow

snaps

heat pain fire

ecstasy grief

and then everything

i feel it all

and i feel it changing

something deep inside

tells me i am 

more than just an anchor

i can swim

i open my eyes

i no longer know what i am

the ocean tells me 

you are change

you are everything

i’ll be here 

the next time you forget